Courtesy of Rebecca Minkoff
The only rule of fashion in stand-up comedy is that you shouldn’t wear shorts as they are considered “unprofessional”. It never made sense to me. I have the right to make jokes about slamming cocks during sex, but I can’t wear high waisted denim shorts? It’s 90 degrees in NYC right now – wearing jeans makes me feel like I’m in a pants jail, so I choose to ignore it. Sue me! I think this sartorial mandate was made for men who wear cargo shorts. There is also a weird rumor that if the comedians wear something too trendy or revealing, it will distract audiences from their jokes. Again, I am not buying it. It’s because of my rule-breaking nature, but lately I’ve been more interested in being at the forefront of fashion (I’ve watched a lot of outfit transitions on TikTok, okay ?). And conveniently, I was invited to my first novelty pants show at New York Fashion Week.
I woke up in the morning feeling a bit like Laney Boggs in the original She is all that (except I wasn’t going to prom and I don’t wear glasses). But for once, I was not stressed by my outfit, because Rebecca Minkoff sent me a dress and shoes. There was no way I could mess this up! The dress was black with little sparkly details that glittered in the sun, which matched my emo personality (a girl who faces depression but is a lot of fun on group chats!). Ankle Boots (which I guess are boots that know they’re cute?) I’ve been a huge fan of the goofy platform shoe trend because they’re so easy to put on, but this shoe was a big one. ideal candidate for getting stuck in a metro grid.
So, I called an overpriced Uber to take me 20 blocks. At first I felt weird walking outside looking so chic – most of my neighbors usually see me wearing baggy shirts and stuffing my face with a scallion cream cheese bagel – but I then remembered that literally nobody cared and that was the beauty of New York.
Fifteen minutes later, I arrived at Spring Studios. I’ve seen influencers tag this place on Instagram, so I thought it was legit. The building looked like it was made for the fashion industry, serious on the outside, but creative on the inside. Did that make sense? Sorry, fashion people scare me a little.
Like a deer on ice, I stepped out of the Uber in my stylish stiletto heels and onto the cobblestone street. The funniest part of fashion week is how fashion bloggers have completely monopolized the roads to take photos, creating massive traffic jams. I have to say it’s pretty darn empowering to see a 5’3 “girl in a pink chiffon dress without being afraid of getting hit by Hummer.
When I entered, I showed my vaccination card and identity card and immediately saw my editor and press officer waiting for me. I clumsily climbed the stairs and prayed that I would do my outfit justice. We were guided to a room on the sixth floor and I was immediately confused. There were no models, no runway and no front row. Instead, there were large photos of models in different outfits hanging on the walls of the room. I wondered if there was a mistake. I was thinking, Maybe the models are stuck in New York traffic or have slept too long? We’ve all been there.
Just in time, Rebecca Minkoff herself graciously entered. She was wearing a leather jacket and immediately saw the dress I was wearing, looked me up and down, a quick nod and luckily a smile of approval. So basically now I’m Rebecca’s best friend. A photographer asked to take a picture of us and I calmed down. I’m almostâ¦ integrated?
My editor Claire finally addressed the elephant in the room and asked Rebecca (in a polite manner) what was going on. Rebecca smiled and said, âThis is an NFT collection. We are creating a fashion metaverse. Immediately I felt out of my league again. What is this alien technology? I’ve heard drunk financial brothers in a bar discussing NFTs, but never an established fashion designer. I was one of those who was convinced that no one really knows what a TVN is. Nachos for tonight? (Sorry, I’m hungry.) Can I sell my fart tweets like NFT? Also, what is a metaverse? Is that where you go when you take ayahuasca?
I was quickly distracted by a star in the room. Every fashion week has a hierarchy of important people, and everyone somehow knows who is most important. In this case, she was 7 years old and was the self-proclaimed official backstage host of Fashion Week. She had a team around her and her outfit was to die for (do we say that again?). I had the courage to approach her, even though she wasn’t looking anyone in the eye. I found out her name was Taylen Biggs, and she spelled it out handle instagram for me as if she had done it a thousand times (a true professional). I told her that I also do concert animation, and that she should be proud of her because the work is really hard. She quickly replied, “No, it isn’t.” Truly iconic. If I could channel 10% of this 7 year old’s confidence, who knows what I could accomplish. I also read in her Instagram bio that she is a philanthropist. A model citizen.
I finally focused on the fashion behind 3D NFTs. The Rebecca Minkoff models were fierce, wearing studded leather jackets with cute matching shoulder bags. There was a clear New York City theme throughout with landmarks and graffiti in the background of the portraits. All of the women seemed strong, accomplished and trendy. There were also iPads in the room where you could buy the NFTs. Who knew the iPads would have come this far? I really felt like I was witnessing the future of fashion. Stepping out of the runway, I got a whole new perspective on the possibilities of Fashion Week. Now I will probably invest in Dogecoin.
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